where i've been....where i am (part 2.)

Like I said we were so excited about the baby.  Our family was discouraged and ready for something good to happen.  Don't get me wrong, we were very thankful for the outcome with Jenn, but we were tired of all the bad news the year had brought us.  A baby...how perfect!  

(Let me start by saying, I am going to write about everything that happened during my pregnancy, so if you think you can't handle the really bad stuff, you may not want to read this.)


We found out we were going to have a baby after I went to the doctor for my regular check-up.  The month before, that would be my April cycle, I was late.  I thought I was pregnant, but after four negative tests and finally a late period, of course I knew I wasn't.  However, my next cycle was thrown off because I was so late.  My husband and I do natural birth control.  For those of you who may not know what that is, it's when you don't take any contraceptives and you chart every little thing about your cycle (i.e., start of period, what the days leading up to ovulation are like physically, waking body temp., etc., you get  the point).  Basically, we rely on my body to tell us when it is and isn't okay to....you know.  Because I had a late period, my ovulation would be later...so I thought.  Wrong!  In fact, I ovulated earlier than usual, and, well, I ended up pregnant.  Things like that don't usually happen, so if you wanted to try natural birth control, don't let my experience stop you.  Anyhow, during my check-up, I was talking to my doctor about how I thought I was pregnant the previous month and how, my body just didn't seem normal.  So she went ahead and did some blood work.  She wanted to check my thyroid, because that could cause me to feel the way I had been feeling...of course being pregnant could as well.  Part of the blood work was a pregnancy test, but I knew I wasn't, so I wasn't too worried.  After a few days, I got a call from the nurse saying my results were in and that my thyroid looked great, however my hcg levels were elevated, (I had been pregnant before so I knew what that meant....we're having a baby).  I couldn't believe it...a baby?  No...impossible! Or not!  I've learned that really, nothing is impossible.  She told me that sometimes, if you're close to your period those levels could be thrown off, so she suggested I take a home pregnancy test...so I did, and it showed up positive almost immediately.  We were gonna have a baby, and we were so excited.  We weren't planning on another baby, but I couldn't think of anything I wanted more once we found out than to hold and kiss and love on that baby for the rest of my life.  What an exciting time that was...until two weeks later when things started to go badly.