Thursday, January 27, 2011

where i've been....where i am (part 4.~ the hospital stay)

When I was admitted to the hospital that Sunday, I was sort of relieved.  I thought, finally, they are gonna figure out what is really going on with me, fix me, and send me home.  And I won't be back until February when it's time to really deliver this baby.  I guess, really, I was just trying to convince myself of that, because deep down I didn't think that was true.  While I was in the hospital and several days before I was admitted, the bleeding I was having turned into more of an ooze of bloody mucus.  Every single time I sat down to use the bathroom it would literally just ooze out of me.  I kept thinking it was just from the infection.  I didn't want to believe that it could be something worse, so I found myself not even going there mentally.  On Monday, they sent me down for an ultrasound of my kidneys.  They wanted to make sure I didn't have any kidney stones.  I was so excited to go down, even though every little movement of my body made me hurt worse than I ever had before, I was hoping I would also get to see the baby again.  I was right; the ultrasound tech. said she couldn't do a scan of a pregnant woman's kidney and not look at the baby.  That was exciting!  It would also be the last time I would ever see him alive and moving around, so perfect with a strong heartbeat.  It truly was a gift that I will forever be thankful for.

During the day that Monday, I slowly started feeling a little better.  The pain wasn't nearly as severe as it had been the previous days.  Feeling better gave me a little hope that the medicine was working and we would get to go home soon.  By Monday evening, I was feeling a lot better.  It was still hard to move around, but my fever was gone and that in and of itself was making me feel horrible.  I soaked it up.  I hadn't felt that good in a long time.  Unfortunately though, it didn't last.  In the middle of the night that night around 1:00 or so, I woke up in a horrible sweat and in so much pain.  Only this time, the pain wasn't on my left side like it had been, it was right in the middle of my stomach.  Right where my uterus was.  It wasn't a crampy type pain, but rather a very deep, sharp pain.  I woke Patrick up, and we called the nurse in.  She said she would call the doctor; she could tell something was wrong.  Well, to my surprise, 12 hours and 3 more phone calls later, the doctor finally showed up.  I don't even want to go into how angry and hurt I was that it took that long for a doctor to show up.  It's not even worth it, but let's just say I was not happy!  Anyhow, when she got there she was pressing on my belly outside of my uterus and I thought I was gonna die.  It hurt so bad; it was ridiculous! She told me my kidney's looked great and my white blood count had finally started going down.  The numbers still weren't normal, but at least they were going in the right direction.  She just assumed the pain I was feeling was still related to the UTI, but this particular doctor from the practice, was a moron.  Sorry, but she totally is in the wrong perfection.  I will never see her again for any reason.  Her bed side manner was awful, and I felt like she couldn't get out of my room fast enough.  She also thought it was a better idea to see the patients in the office before she came to the hospital to check on patients who were far worse off than the healthy moms coming in for their regular checkups. Yeah, I got a visit from her on her lunch break, (so glad she could fit me in)!  Okay, so I didn't mean to go on that rampage, but whatever, I guess I'm still a little bitter about that.  So needless to say, the pain never went away.  I felt way worse on Tuesday than I did on Monday.  Melanie and another friend of mine, Natalie, came to see me Tuesday morning.  I was so relieved to have friends there because Patrick had to go to work and I was so sad being alone feeling like I did.  They couldn't have showed up at a better time. (Thanks again you!)  Well, as the day went on, I still didn't have any signs of getting better.  And on Wednesday morning, early, another doctor from the practice came in to see me.  She is the kind of doctor every woman should get the chance at having.  She was amazing and got the high risk doctor in my room within the hour.  When the high risk doctor showed up.  I had to tell her all about what had been going on...the pains, the oozing (because it was still horrible), the everything.  She told me the oozing was probably my mucus plug coming out, but that it didn't necessarily mean that my cervix would open up because she said our bodies constantly make the plug, so I didn't worry too much about that anymore.  She was sending me home on complete bed rest and wanted to finish the rest of my pregnancy high risk.  I was glad for that because I knew they would keep a close eye on me.  I was really excited when Dr. Slade, my regular doctor, came back in and said they were releasing me that afternoon.  I hadn't had any fever since Monday, and my counts were looking even better.  What a relief!  So that feeling I had all along, was starting to sort of fade, it wasn't gone, but I kept thinking that what had just happened was what I was feeling all along.  That the worst was over and I was gonna go home and continue getting better from the infection.  Everything would just be normal for once.  Yeah, that didn't happen.

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